Rambly shambles — hayley mccann

11th July 2026

I’m trying to take care of myself. You’ll likely hear much about this from me as I’m constantly thinking about my state of depletion. Likely, my constant attention to depletion is actually exacerbating it in big ways. This website and writing practice are actually my attempts to thwart my skewed views. I figure if I can create and share in simple ways, then perhaps I’m far more likely to notice nourishment simply through tending to noticing and describing it.

I’m not a writer, but there’s a part of me that longs to do it far more with much more skill. Recently, I’ve become so buried by the simple practice of being alive that I’ve not done much reading or writing at all. But if you listen carefully, you might hear how bright and vital this part of me is. And, if I practice, maybe I’ll be rewarded with vitality.

I’m not quite making art consistently as yet. And as I say this, I’m noticing a bias for what I consider to be art oozing from me. Writing is an art. Although the way I’m currently doing it doesn’t scream creativity so much as outpouring and rambly shambles.

Here is some art I created using the sensations in my body and the thoughts that swirl in my head. I’m getting to know the parts of me that show up defensively and protectively - my Terry-takeover part. And I’m having trouble distinguishing this part from the wise-one inside. Here, they’re nothing alike. Seeing them outside of myself might help me recognise them as distinct when they arise, and perhaps, over time, allow me to choose more consciously which one I respond from.